How to Hate Everyone and Everything when you’re Inside a Vehicle.

I had to drive from the north to the south end of town the other day, which sounds far because it’s pretty much the entire distance of Durango’s city proper, but in retrospect it was only a couple miles, and in those couple of miles, I became an absolute monster. 

I was unrecognizable, even to myself, and my hatred and judgment for other people went through my car roof. 

Everyone and everything was my enemy: that dumb slow Volvo in front of me who was actually probably going the speed limit. The big truck behind me who was way too close. The Subaru on my left who wouldn’t let me merge, the sedan to my right who just pulled out in front of me. I hated the traffic, the traffic lights, the stop signs, the pedestrians. Anything that slowed me down or made me wait. Anything that got in the way of exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it; keeping me from where I wanted to go and keeping me from getting there immediately. 

I hated everyone and everything. 

It was a strange, out of body reaction; I think because my body went into panic mode from physically moving really fast, but also sitting very still. I truly don’t think it’s natural for our bodies and brains to experience those two things at the same time, and so all I wanted to do was jump out of my truck and run as far away from Main Ave as possible. 

I couldn’t though, because I was stuck in traffic. 

So, fuck driving. Fuck traffic. No wonder we’re all cranky and pissed whenever we arrive someplace. We’re all in a hurry to be somewhere, everyone is in our way, and we’re stuck at stop lights, trapped inside metal boxes with our butts glued to the seat and our inner monsters exploding through our car roofs.